Do you ask, or do you guess?

The theory runs that we are raised in one of two cultures. In Ask culture, people grow up believing they can ask for anything – a favour, a pay rise– fully realising the answer may be no. In Guess culture, by contrast, you avoid "putting a request into words unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes… A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do this with enough subtlety, you won't have to make the request directly; you'll get an offer. Even then, the offer may be genuine or pro forma; it takes yet more skill and delicacy to discern whether you should accept."

This Guardian columnist presumes that unpleasantness will occur when an Asker runs headlong into a Guesser. I don't believe that's true.

Just because an Asker wants to stay at the Guesser's house for a week, or wants a raise from the Guesser boss doesn't mean the Guesser has a problem turning him down. The Guesser may find the Asker's ask-iness amusing -- or even admire the Asker for his chutzpah.