Revenge of the Trees

It's Arbor Day! Do you know how to take care of your tree?

We humans love to anthropomorphize non-human entities. Our first car got a nickname, and curses under our breath, as we coaxed it to start or cajoled it up the hill. Our dogs are more understanding, and dependable, than our spouses. And our trees? We love them, but do they love us?



You think "love" is too strong a word? Hey, come on! Admit it. You get misty-eyed when you read Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree to your kids. I tear up now just thinking about that last image of the old man sitting on the stump.


Don't forget, though, that trees can be pretty mean too.


In The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy reached for an apple, the tree slapped her hand and snapped, "How’d you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?"


Tolkein’s Ents? Those trees in The Lord of the Rings are plain creepy, and bellicose. Of course, trees may have a good reason for going to war. We have a funny way of showing our affection, chopping them down the way we do. 

For every one of us who scrambled outside this February in the bitter cold to try to knock snow off the branches of our beloved magnolia (whose poor, laden limbs seemed to be beseeching us for help), there was probably some guy down the block who took great joy in revving up his chainsaw and knocking his green giant down to size: “Ha! Got you! No more leaves to rake!” What self-respecting tree wouldn't want to fight back?


In Ireland, where my people are from, it’s considered bad luck to chop down a tree – especially an ancient tree that dominates the landscape. Fairies, you see, are thought to inhabit certain old trees. Celtic tradition and all that. We’re not talking about sweet, little Tinkerbell fairies. We're talking about vicious Furies out of some Greek tragedy who will do more than slap your hand for daring to touch one of their precious branches. Yes, even in modern Ireland with its thriving computer and IT industries they rerouted a major highway around a “fairy tree” to avoid its wrath.

Trees have such long life spans and they grow to be so huge, it’s no wonder that humans have regarded them with awe. Perhaps that’s why it’s so hard to see one die.


Pittsburgh was hit hard this year. Trees all over were felled by the recent storms and fungus hit oaks in Frick Park. Even Lawrenceville was not spared. 

Decay in the lower trunk of a huge tree (left) at Arsenal Park near the entrance of the middle school on 40th Street caused structural instability. Crews cut it down last week. Even the stump has vanished. All that’s left is sawdust.

But on the 39th Street side of Arsenal on a recent rainy Saturday morning, there was a blessed event. Several new trees were planted (presumably by the Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy).

A quaking aspen is my new baby. Ordered on the Internet, it arrived looking more posse (like the possibility of a tree) than esse (the reality). It’s the spindliest, sorriest looking little thing you ever did see. Too slender even to photograph.

I check on it every day to see how it’s doing. It’s so small, I’m afraid of killing it. If you're like me and clueless when it comes to the care and pruning of trees, the Friends of the Pittsburgh Urban Forest is offering courses starting in May on how to avoid incurring the wrath of your new tree.


After all, every day should be Arbor Day.